yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
