P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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