your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
tell me about the eggs
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize