Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
