at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
