I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
