I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
