maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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