I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
