Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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