i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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