is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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