Say something about gay babies.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
