Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
