i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
