I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Can I color on your dick again?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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