i don't like sucking hair
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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