OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
