he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize