he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize