I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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