She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
