ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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