I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
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i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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