you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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