either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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