He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
