i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
