uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
