wrigley field is MILF paradise
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
