so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
