Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize