My first STD was from a foam party
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
