I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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