I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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