butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
