My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
