Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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