By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
