omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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