A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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