If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
