Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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