Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
