Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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