so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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