She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
