I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well I just put wine in my tea
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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