We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize