im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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