The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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