I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
