She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
