Someone shit on the floor
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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