Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
