just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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