Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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