just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
