well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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