Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
