hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
