To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
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Swine flu is the new snow day.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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