me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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