I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
