I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
